女子为什么戴耳坠？
相传古代有一位姑娘因为眼病导致了双目失明。后来一位周游各地的医生说能医治好姑娘的眼睛。这位医生用闪闪发光的银针在她两侧耳垂中各刺一银针后，奇迹出现了，姑娘重见光明。姑娘非常感激，于是请银匠精制一对耳环戴在耳上，以示永世不忘记名医之恩。
当姑娘戴上耳环后，不但眼睛好了，而且愈发漂亮了。这件事件传开以后，很多姑娘和妇女都纷纷效仿，女子戴耳坠的装束也就传开来。
其实中国古代医学中有一种 “耳针治疗”，即用小毫针，皮内针或其他，刺耳穴进行治疗的方法。因为耳垂正中具有穴位，刺激它对保护视力和防治麦粒肿，急性结膜炎，老年白内障，中心性视网膜炎等各种眼病，特别对近视眼有良好的疗效。恐怕今天的女子不会想到戴耳坠还能治病吧？
戴耳坠还有一种说法，是能让女孩子举止端庄。
传说很久以前，有一户家只有老俩口，四十多岁才得一女孩儿，夫妇俩把女孩儿视为掌上明珠。姑娘长大了，娇惯成一生的坏毛病，走路摇头晃脑，没一点女孩子的温柔端庄。老俩口非常着急，真么规劝都不见效。
这样的女孩子出嫁都成问题了。这可怎么办？老俩口灵机一动，最终想出了一个好办法：在姑娘两耳下各系一短绳儿，绳儿下端系一贝壳，这样，只要姑娘头一晃动，贝壳就会碰到姑娘的脸，而刮脸又表示 “羞” 的意思，所以，姑娘立刻就会意识到别人在羞她。从此以后，姑娘走路就不乱晃头了。
很多女孩子纷纷效仿，以便使自己变得端庄文静一些。久而久之，就形成了戴耳坠的装扮习俗。
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为什么小气的人被讽刺为 “吝啬” ?
吝啬，意为 “小气” 。关于这词的来历，民间有一段趣闻：
传说很久以前，有两位先生，一个名吝先生，一个叫啬先生。吝先生有一回到城里办事，在半路上碰到啬先生。两人一路上有说有笑，谈得十分投机，于是便结为朋友。分手时，他们相约中秋节到乌有山子虚亭饮酒赏月，订好了由吝先生携酒，啬先生备菜。但两人都很小气，不肯轻易花一分钱。
中秋节到了，两人如约来到子虚亭所在的乌有山，但见彼此都是一双空手而来，他们大眼瞪小眼的互相对视了一会儿，忍不住哈哈大笑。
两人谦让一番在亭子里坐下之后，吝先生首先站起来打破僵局。只见他一只手弯曲着样做举杯状，另一只手遥指高空，朗声说道：“月光如水水如酒，请啬先生开怀畅饮。”
啬先生也不甘示弱，随即伸出两个手指做筷子，指着荷塘深情地说：“池中游鱼鱼是菜，请吝仁兄大饱口福。”两人觥着交错，互敬互让，好不高兴。吝先生脖子一仰，嘴里噘得滋滋作响，连声称道：“好酒，好酒，杜康也要逊色三分！”啬先生也把手指放进口中，连声称道：“好菜，好菜，山珍海味也无与伦比！”过往的行人看到这两个人如痴如醉的举动，无不捧腹大笑。其中一位过客认识吝啬两人，便走上前打趣道：“今天两位仁兄赏月，喝的是吝啬酒，吃的是吝啬菜，活着是吝啬人，死了是吝啬鬼。”
从此，“吝啬” 一词便逐渐传扬开来，用于形容极其小气的人。
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
BODY GLOVE MALAYSIA's Photos - 2010 Charming Girl semi final
2010 Charming Girl semi final, organize by B'ODY GL'OVE MALAYSIA's
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Body Language
How to Read Faces
Brushing Hair Off Your Face
This movement, a combination of nerves and flirtation, helps call attention to and frame your feminine assets (think face and neck). No wonder it’s a staple of a promising date.
Smiling
Botox be damned! The only real smile, says Anita Barbee, a professor of social work at the University of Louisville, in Kentucky, is one in which eye muscles are engaged. People who grin for more than five seconds and only with their lips can be faking it. Frequent smiling in the workplace can make a person seem less serious.
Blinking
The normal blink rate is six to eight times a minute. But under stress, you’ll blink more often and somewhat more dramatically. Want to know who’s freaking out and who’s as cool as a cucumber at the next big meeting? The eyes have it.
This movement, a combination of nerves and flirtation, helps call attention to and frame your feminine assets (think face and neck). No wonder it’s a staple of a promising date.
Smiling
Botox be damned! The only real smile, says Anita Barbee, a professor of social work at the University of Louisville, in Kentucky, is one in which eye muscles are engaged. People who grin for more than five seconds and only with their lips can be faking it. Frequent smiling in the workplace can make a person seem less serious.
Blinking
The normal blink rate is six to eight times a minute. But under stress, you’ll blink more often and somewhat more dramatically. Want to know who’s freaking out and who’s as cool as a cucumber at the next big meeting? The eyes have it.
Nibbling Your Lips
If you bite, suck on, or lick your lips when under pressure or in an awkward situation, you’re attempting to comfort or soothe yourself, says psychologist Carol Kinsey Goman, the author of The Nonverbal Advantage ($20, amazon.com).
Scratching Your Nose
Don’t get caught in a lie. “When a person fibs, it’s often accompanied by an adrenaline rush,” says psychologist Michael Cunningham, a professor of communication at the University of Louisville. This release causes capillaries to expand, making the nose itch. Another tall-tale tell: a sustained glance. A liar often overcompensates for being perceived as shifty by focusing a bit too intently on the person he is fibbing to.
Sending Darting Glances
This catch-your-eye game, usually played in guy-girl situations, tends to mirror your scattered thoughts. Does he like me? Do I like him? Do I want him to come over here? Also, unlike a direct gaze, the back-and-forth variety is a protective measure: If he doesn’t approach you, you won’t feel rejected.
Nodding Your Head
If you nod in clusters of three, the speaker will sense your interest, and this can lengthen her response threefold, says Goman. Word to the wise: Nod only once when trying to escape Chatty Cathy.
If you bite, suck on, or lick your lips when under pressure or in an awkward situation, you’re attempting to comfort or soothe yourself, says psychologist Carol Kinsey Goman, the author of The Nonverbal Advantage ($20, amazon.com).
Scratching Your Nose
Don’t get caught in a lie. “When a person fibs, it’s often accompanied by an adrenaline rush,” says psychologist Michael Cunningham, a professor of communication at the University of Louisville. This release causes capillaries to expand, making the nose itch. Another tall-tale tell: a sustained glance. A liar often overcompensates for being perceived as shifty by focusing a bit too intently on the person he is fibbing to.
Sending Darting Glances
This catch-your-eye game, usually played in guy-girl situations, tends to mirror your scattered thoughts. Does he like me? Do I like him? Do I want him to come over here? Also, unlike a direct gaze, the back-and-forth variety is a protective measure: If he doesn’t approach you, you won’t feel rejected.
Nodding Your Head
If you nod in clusters of three, the speaker will sense your interest, and this can lengthen her response threefold, says Goman. Word to the wise: Nod only once when trying to escape Chatty Cathy.
Closing Your Eyes
By rubbing, covering, or closing your eyes for longer than a blink, you’re trying to keep out certain auditory or visual cues. It’s a survival mechanism to prevent the brain from processing anything undesirable or threatening.
Lowering Your Gaze
This meek gesture is an unconscious bid for public support—a favorite tactic of small children, not to mention the late Princess Diana. It often elicits a parental response. If someone does it to you, she may be searching for your empathy. Be gentle.
Pursing Your Lips
Narrowing the red margins of your lips is a clear sign of anger, says Paul Ekman, professor emeritus at the University of California, San Francisco. Why? When a person is not truly mad, she typically can’t feign this gesture, even if she tries.
By rubbing, covering, or closing your eyes for longer than a blink, you’re trying to keep out certain auditory or visual cues. It’s a survival mechanism to prevent the brain from processing anything undesirable or threatening.
Lowering Your Gaze
This meek gesture is an unconscious bid for public support—a favorite tactic of small children, not to mention the late Princess Diana. It often elicits a parental response. If someone does it to you, she may be searching for your empathy. Be gentle.
Pursing Your Lips
Narrowing the red margins of your lips is a clear sign of anger, says Paul Ekman, professor emeritus at the University of California, San Francisco. Why? When a person is not truly mad, she typically can’t feign this gesture, even if she tries.
Tilting Your Head
Tilt your head to the side when hearing a friend’s sob story. This movement indicates that you’re interested and listening. On a more literal level, you’re revealing and angling your ear to her, physically showing that you want to hear every detail.
Raising or Furrowing Your Eyebrows
“Raised eyebrows, one or both, is a true expression of piqued curiosity and interest, while lowered eyebrows can indicate negative emotions, such as confusion and fear,” says Laura Guerrero, a professor of communication at the Arizona State University Hugh Downs School of Human Communication, in Tempe. If you’re not interested in a good or bad way, your face will remain still and unanimated.
Looking Up or to the Side
Want a little glimpse into the way someone’s memory works? Notice where the person moves her eyes. When recalling something that was seen, a person will angle her eyes skyward, as if trying to picture it. When remembering something heard, she will look toward one of her ears, as if listening for it. Especially emotional experiences tend to be relived through introspective downward glances.
Tilt your head to the side when hearing a friend’s sob story. This movement indicates that you’re interested and listening. On a more literal level, you’re revealing and angling your ear to her, physically showing that you want to hear every detail.
Raising or Furrowing Your Eyebrows
“Raised eyebrows, one or both, is a true expression of piqued curiosity and interest, while lowered eyebrows can indicate negative emotions, such as confusion and fear,” says Laura Guerrero, a professor of communication at the Arizona State University Hugh Downs School of Human Communication, in Tempe. If you’re not interested in a good or bad way, your face will remain still and unanimated.
Looking Up or to the Side
Want a little glimpse into the way someone’s memory works? Notice where the person moves her eyes. When recalling something that was seen, a person will angle her eyes skyward, as if trying to picture it. When remembering something heard, she will look toward one of her ears, as if listening for it. Especially emotional experiences tend to be relived through introspective downward glances.
Standing With Legs Together
This conservative stance denotes deference, says Goman.
Angling Yourself
Do you align yourself with the head honcho at work? Most people position their bodies or feet toward the person who has captured their focus. Coming to attention and squaring your chest at the sight of your boss is a sign of respect. Another note about proper alignment: If someone approaches you and a friend in the middle of a conversation and you want to give the newcomer a nonverbal invitation to join in, angle your bodies outward by 45 degrees. This subtle sign of inclusion shows the person that she is welcome.
This conservative stance denotes deference, says Goman.
Angling Yourself
Do you align yourself with the head honcho at work? Most people position their bodies or feet toward the person who has captured their focus. Coming to attention and squaring your chest at the sight of your boss is a sign of respect. Another note about proper alignment: If someone approaches you and a friend in the middle of a conversation and you want to give the newcomer a nonverbal invitation to join in, angle your bodies outward by 45 degrees. This subtle sign of inclusion shows the person that she is welcome.
Standing With Legs Apart
This position, feet and legs shoulder-width apart, signals dominance and determination, says Goman. When asserting your side of an argument or discussion, stand your ground—literally. For an extra boost, place your hands on your hips. This is a traditional position of power.
Leaning
No surprise here: You lean toward people you like and pull away from those you don’t. On a date? Take note of your companion’s direction—and yours. Subtly mirroring movements builds trust.
This position, feet and legs shoulder-width apart, signals dominance and determination, says Goman. When asserting your side of an argument or discussion, stand your ground—literally. For an extra boost, place your hands on your hips. This is a traditional position of power.
Leaning
No surprise here: You lean toward people you like and pull away from those you don’t. On a date? Take note of your companion’s direction—and yours. Subtly mirroring movements builds trust.
Shifting Your Weight From Side to Side or Front to Back
“The way you move your body reflects your attitude,” says Goman. Constantly transferring your weight from one foot to the other or rocking forward and backward is a comforting movement that indicates you are anxious or upset. Basically, this is a physical representation of what is going on in your head: You are betwixt and between many unsettling thoughts and can’t stop moving from one to the other.
Massaging Your Forehead or Earlobes
These soothing actions counter feelings of uneasiness or vulnerability—for example, when you are seated in the front row of a lecture hall and hope not to be called on. The same goes for hugging your sides or rubbing your legs when you’re sitting. Stroking the nerve endings in some of these body parts helps lower blood pressure and heart rate.
“The way you move your body reflects your attitude,” says Goman. Constantly transferring your weight from one foot to the other or rocking forward and backward is a comforting movement that indicates you are anxious or upset. Basically, this is a physical representation of what is going on in your head: You are betwixt and between many unsettling thoughts and can’t stop moving from one to the other.
Massaging Your Forehead or Earlobes
These soothing actions counter feelings of uneasiness or vulnerability—for example, when you are seated in the front row of a lecture hall and hope not to be called on. The same goes for hugging your sides or rubbing your legs when you’re sitting. Stroking the nerve endings in some of these body parts helps lower blood pressure and heart rate.
Crossing Your Arms
Don’t be too quick to leap to conclusions: This pose doesn’t always mean anger, but when coupled with crossed legs, it is a defensive position. Take note of the surroundings. More often than not, this stance means a person is cold. Also, many people simply find it comfortable, says Cunningham.
Walking The way you tread speaks volumes about how others see you. Fast strutters come across as productive and competent, looking as if they have somewhere important to be. Those with a “bounce in their step” are perceived as having upbeat personalities. For a purposeful stride, walk from heel to toe. (Interestingly, most men land on their heels; most women, mid-arch.)
Sitting
When in doubt, spread out. Taking up space, such as by fanning out your papers in the boardroom instead of stacking them in a small pile, screams importance. Likewise, sitting with your legs apart assures others that you are large and in charge.
Don’t be too quick to leap to conclusions: This pose doesn’t always mean anger, but when coupled with crossed legs, it is a defensive position. Take note of the surroundings. More often than not, this stance means a person is cold. Also, many people simply find it comfortable, says Cunningham.
Walking The way you tread speaks volumes about how others see you. Fast strutters come across as productive and competent, looking as if they have somewhere important to be. Those with a “bounce in their step” are perceived as having upbeat personalities. For a purposeful stride, walk from heel to toe. (Interestingly, most men land on their heels; most women, mid-arch.)
Sitting
When in doubt, spread out. Taking up space, such as by fanning out your papers in the boardroom instead of stacking them in a small pile, screams importance. Likewise, sitting with your legs apart assures others that you are large and in charge.
Opening Up Your Hands
By spreading your hands as if serving someone a treat off a tray, you are indicating that you are open to new ideas being offered. Facing your palms down or clenching your fists shows you have a strong position—one that may not be so flexible.
Flailing Your Arms
You’re not out of control. Research shows that those who gesture when they speak seem energetic, agreeable, and warm, while those who gesticulate less are seen as logical and analytic. Keep in mind that moderation is key; overly animated gestures that border on frantic make you appear unbelievable and less powerful. If you fear you may be too animated, perhaps in a job interview, hold on to something when you talk.
Hiding Your Hands
Stashing your hands in your lap, stuffing them in your pockets, and holding them behind your back are movements of deceit—you’re hiding something. “A person may be telling you one thing, but these cues indicate you’re not getting the whole story,” says Barbee.
Picking at Your Nails
Messing with cuticles is a sign of low confidence and timidity. Try steepling your fingers (hands folded together with index fingers extended) so you can’t pick and you instead appear self-assured.
By spreading your hands as if serving someone a treat off a tray, you are indicating that you are open to new ideas being offered. Facing your palms down or clenching your fists shows you have a strong position—one that may not be so flexible.
Flailing Your Arms
You’re not out of control. Research shows that those who gesture when they speak seem energetic, agreeable, and warm, while those who gesticulate less are seen as logical and analytic. Keep in mind that moderation is key; overly animated gestures that border on frantic make you appear unbelievable and less powerful. If you fear you may be too animated, perhaps in a job interview, hold on to something when you talk.
Hiding Your Hands
Stashing your hands in your lap, stuffing them in your pockets, and holding them behind your back are movements of deceit—you’re hiding something. “A person may be telling you one thing, but these cues indicate you’re not getting the whole story,” says Barbee.
Picking at Your Nails
Messing with cuticles is a sign of low confidence and timidity. Try steepling your fingers (hands folded together with index fingers extended) so you can’t pick and you instead appear self-assured.
Pointing Toes In
Even if you’re sitting up straight with your shoulders aligned and your head up—all signs of an open body position—your feet may be betraying you. If they’re cocked inward, big toe to big toe, this indicates that you’re closing yourself off because you feel awkward or insecure.
Fidgeting
Ever notice that you become more physically active—you tap your heels, slide in and out of your shoes, bop your foot up and down while crossing your legs—the more uncomfortable you feel? This is because these kinds of moves relieve tension. Fidgeting may also mean that you want out of a situation and your body is getting ready to take flight. The bottom line? At least in professional settings, cross your ankles to calm those fidgety feet.
Crossing Your Legs
Pay attention to the direction in which you cross your legs. In a seated conversation, people tend to point the toes of the top leg toward the person who they feel is the most approachable. The kicker? Lifting your toes means your feelings toward said person are extra-positive.
Pointing Toes Toward the Door
When you’re having a conversation with someone but her feet are angled toward the door, she may be unconsciously saying that she’s ready to cut the talk short and move on.
Even if you’re sitting up straight with your shoulders aligned and your head up—all signs of an open body position—your feet may be betraying you. If they’re cocked inward, big toe to big toe, this indicates that you’re closing yourself off because you feel awkward or insecure.
Fidgeting
Ever notice that you become more physically active—you tap your heels, slide in and out of your shoes, bop your foot up and down while crossing your legs—the more uncomfortable you feel? This is because these kinds of moves relieve tension. Fidgeting may also mean that you want out of a situation and your body is getting ready to take flight. The bottom line? At least in professional settings, cross your ankles to calm those fidgety feet.
Crossing Your Legs
Pay attention to the direction in which you cross your legs. In a seated conversation, people tend to point the toes of the top leg toward the person who they feel is the most approachable. The kicker? Lifting your toes means your feelings toward said person are extra-positive.
Pointing Toes Toward the Door
When you’re having a conversation with someone but her feet are angled toward the door, she may be unconsciously saying that she’s ready to cut the talk short and move on.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Men: 5 lessons for meeting more women
By Evan Marc Katz
To the men who are reading this article: There are a lot of women who are very unhappy with you. Really. I know, because as a dating coach, I hear women tell me all the time in the most exasperated tone: “How come I never meet a nice, normal guy? Why do I only get approached by creeps?” You’ve probably heard women say this yourself. So how would you respond to them?
I’m guessing it’s something like: “Nice guys are afraid of rejection, don’t want to bother you when you’re out, and are generally more concerned with the consequences of being embarrassed than with actually meeting you.” It may be true, but, as truth goes, it’s a pretty sad state of affairs. What’s easy to forget is that most women want to be approached by you. By not approaching them, you’re letting them down and allowing the creeps to take their shot. Follow these lessons and the next time you’re out, maybe you’ll prove that nice guys don’t finish last.
Lesson #1: Assume the answer is yes
Have you ever been sold a product before? Hair tonic, a car, bathroom tile? I can guarantee you that the salesperson didn’t pitch you by saying, “Um, excuse me… I hate to bother you… would you be interested in… I mean, probably not, but—” No! Any salesman worth his commission is not just selling confidence in his product, but confidence in himself. “Confidence says I’m bright, I’m likeable, women have liked me in the past, I’m comfortable in my own skin,” says Victor, 38, a real estate broker. “Since she has to make a decision on the spot, confidence through nonverbal communication makes the best impression.” You can even “fake it ’til you make it” through these two very simple means: Smile and maintain eye contact. And remember: If you don’t know that you’re worth talking to, how would she know?
Lesson #2: It’s not about you
I’m out at a big Hollywood scene with beautiful people. It’s getting late, towards the end of the night, and I ask my buddy Terrance which woman he’s got his eye on. He points to an attractive brunette talking to a cute blonde across the courtyard. Slightly bemused, I tell him that I will make the introduction. As I stride over, I rationalize that if my approach doesn’t go well, she’s not really rejecting me, but rather, Terrance. I know this isn’t true, but it gets me going.
I arrive while the women are in mid-conversation. I say nothing for a few seconds and when they both look at me, I chime in: “You guys just keep talking. I’ll interrupt when I’ve got something interesting to contribute.” And that was it. It wasn’t a line. It wasn’t planned. It just happened. After three minutes, Terrance came over, I made the introductions, and we both got phone numbers. The moral of the story? Playing my little conversational trick in all pick-up situations can be really helpful. Just ask any married friend how easy it is to talk with women when you know that there are no stakes involved. If it’s not about you, you can’t possibly fail.
Lesson #3: There’s power in numbers
Believe it or not, three is better than one. When you approach a woman who is by herself, she knows that you’re hitting on her based solely on your attraction to her. This increases the pressure in a way that doesn’t always make for a comfortable situation. That’s why the safest way to meet a woman is to approach her in a crowd of her friends. Now there’s no pressure, because nobody knows who you’re hitting on, and you can just be the friendly guy who’s chatting with everybody. “If you’re charming, funny or bright,” says Charles, 36, “she might find herself interested in you before you’ve expressed interest in her.” This tilts things in your favor, even to the point where you might be in control. “By charming her friends and getting their approval, the one you like will be that much more open when you ask her out,” adds Charles.
Lesson #4: It’s just that easy
If you ever doubt how simple it can be to meet a woman, this story should inspire you: I was at a party with some close friends and saw an acquaintance across the room. Late 30s, attractive, friendly, likeable. We’d met probably four times before through a mutual friend who was also at the party. When our eyes met, I smiled at her. She smiled back. Because it was a large and crowded room, I put out my index finger and beckoned her to come over to me. She sort of did a double take, smiled even more broadly and came right over.
“Hi,” I said, warmly.
“Hi,” she said, blankly. Then it hit me.
“You have no idea who I am,” I said.
“None whatsoever,” she replied.
“It’s Evan. Evan Katz.”
“Oh, yes — we’ve met! You cut your hair. I didn’t even recognize you.” She gave me a hug. But I had one more important question to ask her before we continued talking.
“Is it really that easy to get a woman to talk to you… just by calling her over with your finger?”
She took a second to consider the evidence and replied, “Apparently, it is.”
So there you have it. We men have more power than we even realized.
Lesson #5: The outcome doesn’t matter
Maybe you’re not her type. Maybe she’s just out of a relationship. Maybe she’s having troubles at work. Maybe she’s not perceptive enough to recognize your worth. You never know why someone may not be interested in you. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter. It’s more diminishing to your self-esteem to let fear run your life than it is to get rejected. Here’s one story below that showcases this in a big way.
So I was in the checkout line at the grocery store, and I was waiting for a woman with 400 coupons. In the meantime, I was talking to the tall, raven-haired cutie behind me. We were making jokes, laughing, passing the time. All in all, a very pleasant five minutes of my life. The coupon lady finished up. I paid for my stuff, said goodbye to my new friend and rolled my cart out the door.
The second I hit the fresh air, I was kicking myself: Dummy! Why didn’t you ask for her phone number? Because I got all embarrassed what with the other people in line and the woman swiping my bar codes. Because of all the other reasons that nice guys wimp out. I decided that this would not do. I was going to wait until she came out of the supermarket and ask her out. And that’s what I did.
“Hey, it was a lot of fun meeting you in there,” I said to her as she emerged with her bags. “I was wondering if you’d like to grab lunch sometime.”
A big smile came across her face. “You are so cute and I couldn’t be more flattered, but I have a serious, live-in boyfriend. But I really want to thank you for asking. You totally made my day.” After she said goodbye, I went home, walking on air, so happy that I did it, instead of wishing I did it, like so many times before. It didn’t matter if she had a boyfriend or if she was lying or being polite or whatever — all that mattered was that I took a big swing at the plate and even didn’t hurt myself in the process.
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